Campfire Cooking in Another World with My Absurd Skill: Volume 11 Read online

  At least we’re not doing too much interfering and killstealing. I hope. We might be toeing the line, but we’re not quite crossing it. Gotta say, though, I didn’t expect Sui to be this motivated...

  《Sui,》 I transmitted telepathically, 《you remember what I told you earlier? You can’t attack any monsters that adventurers are already fighting!》

  《But why, Master? Isn’t beating up bad monsters a good thing?》

  《Beating up monsters is great, yeah, but still. If somebody’s already fighting them, you can’t interfere unless they ask you to help them. If you jump into the fight when they don’t need the help, they’ll say you’re stealing their prey!》

  《Hmmmph!》

  I’d explained it several times at that point, but Sui still didn’t seem convinced. The rule had applied back in Dolan’s dungeon, Aveling’s dungeon, and the meat dungeon, of course, but in all three of those cases we’d waited until we’d descended to the more sparsely populated levels of the dungeon before we started exploring in earnest. We hadn’t run into very many other parties at all, so we had been free to take on any monsters that came our way.

  I couldn’t read Sui’s mind, but I could more or less sum up its thought process. It was probably thinking something along the lines of “If you find a monster, of course you should beat it up! What’s wrong with that?!”

  And it wasn’t wrong, per se, but when other adventurers entered the picture, we had to consider all sorts of complicated stuff like who had the right to claim the items the monsters dropped. I’d heard that it was pretty common for fights to break out over that sort of thing, especially in dungeons.

  I wanted to avoid that sort of trouble at all costs, so I made it a rule that we wouldn’t interfere with any fights unless the adventurers involved were injured and in obvious trouble or directly asked us for help. Sui, however, was too much of a child to be understanding about that sort of consideration.

  《Ah! Another rock monster! Take this!》 Pew! Pew! Peeew!

  《Gaaah, adventurers! What about the adventurers?!》

  《Get a grip! This one wasn’t fighting anyone else. It’s fine,》 chided Dora-chan, much to my relief. 《But man, I gotta say, the way Sui’s going at those things is some nasty work! One Acid Bullet to the face and bam, nothing left but gargoyle slag.》

  I’d been thinking the same thing, actually. At first, I thought it was just coincidence, but it had happened too many times for me to believe that anymore; Sui was definitely aiming for their faces deliberately. It had taken down every single gargoyle we’d run into so far in the exact same way.

  《Umm, well, Uncle Fel said that if Sui doesn’t know what a monster’s squishy parts are, Sui should just aim for the head and break it! He said that you can beat most monsters by breaking their heads.》

  《Oooh?》 replied Dora-chan, sounding a little impressed. 《Yeah, now that I think about it, that’s pretty much true. Guess Fel’s a half-decent teacher sometimes after all!》

  《‘Sometimes’? Hold your tongue, Dora. I teach nothing but the most useful and meaningful of lessons.》

  《Felllllll,》 I mentally wailed, 《I told you to quit teaching Sui that crap!》

  《What do you mean, ‘crap’?! Learning to aim for the head is of vital importance!》

  《Yeah, gotta second that one. Ya hafta know these things if you wanna be sure your enemy ends up in the ground instead of you.》

  There was no hope of Fel or Dora-chan understanding my perspective. They were a couple of bloodthirsty berserkers; I shouldn’t have expected anything else. Ugggh, my cute little Sui’s getting turned into a barbarian before my eyes...

  《Oooh, another one!》

  《Wait, stop!》 I shrieked. 《Are there any adventurers around?!》

  《Yup, I see some,》 said Dora-chan. 《Looks like they’re in a bad spot, though.》

  《Indeed. They are surrounded.》

  I peered ahead of us, and sure enough, I spotted a group of adventurers further down the corridor. They’d gotten themselves pinned between two groups of gargoyles—around five monsters in total. The adventurers had nowhere to run, and the gargoyles were slowly but surely closing in on them.

  Before the situation devolved further, though, one of the adventurers noticed us and shouted, “Hey, you! We need some help here! Please!”

  “Sic ’em, Sui!”

  《Okaaay!》

  Pew, pew, pew! Pew, pew, pew, peeew!

  Every one of Sui’s shots flew true. From its position atop Fel’s head, Sui used Acid Bullets to nail the gargoyles’ faces with pinpoint accuracy, boring straight through their heads. Barely an instant later the whole pack lay dead on the dungeon floor, where the adventurer’s jaws quickly joined them.

  One of their party members had at least enough composure left to call out to us, though. “Hey, thanks! You saved our hides!”

  “Just glad we made it in time!” I replied, only for Fel to sail past them without even bothering to slow down. “Huh? Uhh, Fel?”

  《We have ample ground left to cover if we wish to explore this whole floor, and no time to waste on annoyances like these. We will move on!》

  As we sped down the hallway, I heard the adventurers behind us call out in a panic. “H-Hey, wait! What about the drops?!”

  “All yours!” I shouted over my shoulder. The rest of the party had recovered as well at that point, and I heard them all shouting something, but we were already too far away and I couldn’t make it out. Steamrolling through their encounter without so much as stopping for a chat wasn’t exactly polite (not that I had much say in the matter—Fel wasn’t gonna slow down no matter what I said), but we had saved their lives and let them claim all the loot, so I figured they probably weren’t complaining. Well, I hoped they weren’t complaining.

  That wasn’t the last time Sui pulled us into that sort of trouble over the course of our lap around the twentieth floor. I kept telling it to hold its fire if there were adventurers around, but nothing I said worked. Sui is listening to me, right...?

  ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇

  After spending who knows how long rushing around all over the twentieth floor, Fel came to a sudden stop.

  “What’s up?” I asked.

  《This is strange...》 he replied, vaguely.

  “What? What’s strange?”

  《We have been everywhere there is to go on this floor. Are you certain this is the one the God of All Creation told you to explore?》

  “Of course I am! He said to search all over the twentieth floor.” I was positive that I wasn’t misremembering Demiurge’s advice.

  《Oh, I see what’s going on!》 Dora-chan piped up. 《You have no idea what you’re even looking for, do you, Fel? Bet you don’t feel so high and mighty now, mister ‘I can sense even the smallest facets of the surrounding area’!》

  “Pff! H-Hey, don’t be like that, Dora-chan!” Dora-chan’s impression of Fel was hilariously on-point, and I just barely managed to stifle a laugh.

  《Grrrh—I... I know perfectly well what it is I search for! I just happened by pure chance—by pure chance, I say!—to overlook my quarry!》 Fel insisted with a scowl. I got how he was feeling, honestly. After being that smug about how he’d find it in no time, of course it’d be galling to not manage to turn it up.

  《Heeey, Uncle Fel, are we done already? Sui wants to beat up more of those rock monsters!》 Sui, totally oblivious to the awkward atmosphere, sent off a perfectly carefree telepathic message from atop Fel’s head.

  Guess reading the mood’s still a little too hard for a slime its age.

  《Grr... I hunger! It is time for us to eat—my senses are dulled when I am famished!》

  “Ha ha, y-yeah, I’m pretty hungry too, now that you mention it! Let’s stop for lunch.”

  《G-Good idea, yeah. I could use a bite.》

  《Oooh, food? Sui’s hungry too! Yaaay, lunch!》

  “All right, let’s make for a safe zone! Let’s see here...” I retrieved the map that Tristan had given me from my Item Box and was about to check it for a safe place to eat when Fel cut me off.

  《There is one just a short distance ahead of us,》 he said, gesturing forward.

  《Sweet!》 exclaimed Dora-chan. 《Let’s eat there, then!》

  And so, our party set off for the dungeon crawl’s first safe area stop.

  ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇

  The safe area we arrived at was set up around a small pool filled with fresh water bubbling out from a spring. Three parties of adventurers were already resting around it, every one of them full of nothing but big, grizzled men. We found an empty plot of ground and set up camp.

  I took a moment to breathe a quick sigh of relief, then telepathically called Sui over to me for a chat. I hadn’t had the time for an in-depth conversation about its behavior while we were dashing about the dungeon on Fel’s back, and I felt that I had to make sure it understood what it had done wrong or else it’d keep making the same mistakes over and over again.

  《What is it, Master?》

  《Sui, you remember how I told you not to attack any monsters that other adventurers were already fighting? And then when we actually found some, you attacked them anyway?》

  《Yeah, ’cause the monsters were bad guys! Beating up bad guys is good, right?》 Sui sat before me, wobbling from side to side as it tried to justify its actions.

  《I mean, yes, that’s true. I mean, it’s usually true, but, like... Okay, think about it this way: what if you were fighting your hardest, trying to beat up a bad monster, when suddenly some random adventurer you’ve never even met before charges in and chops its head off. How would that make you feel?》

  《Hmm... Sui wouldn’t feel very good about that.》

  《No, you wouldn’t.
You were trying your best, so what right did that jerk have to barge in and steal your kill?》

  《Yeah...》

  《Okay, now think back on what you just did when we were exploring. Wasn’t that the exact same thing?》 At that point, Sui seemed to finally understand what I was trying to say and squished itself down dejectedly.

  《Sui did something bad... Sui is sooorry, Master!》

  《It’s fine. As long as you understand, and don’t do it again. You’re a good slime, so you’ll be careful from now on, right?》

  《Yeah! Sui’ll be super careful!》

  Thankfully, Sui was a really understanding kid as long as you took the time to carefully explain yourself in a way it could understand. I don’t think we’ll be having any more fight-crashing problems from now on.

  《Are you finished yet? Then hurry up and cook!》

  《Yeah, we’re starvin’ to death over here!》

  Fel and Dora-chan had both been considerate enough to wait until after I was finished talking with Sui to start griping at me. 《Okay, okay! There’s other adventurers around, though, so we’ll have to stick with something premade.》

  《So long as there is meat in it, I could hardly care less.》

  《You said it!》

  Right, right, you’re carnivores, I get it. Not like I made anything that doesn’t have meat in it to begin with.

  I was thinking back on the meals I’d prepared in advance, when suddenly a voice rang out from behind me.

  “Uhh, s’cuse me. You got a minute?”

  “Hmm?”

  I turned to find a big, rugged-looking adventurer standing behind me. I guessed that he was somewhere around thirty years old or so, and a pair of similarly-built beastmen with dog ears and tails stood next to him. Their faces sort of resembled each other’s, so I assumed they were brothers. The final member of their party was a lanky man in a robe who could only be some sort of mage.

  “I just wanted to say that you saved our lives. Thank you,” said the rugged man who had addressed me first. The beastmen and the mage echoed the sentiment.

  “You ran off before we could say thanks, and it’s been bugging us ever since! Glad we got the chance,” said one of the beastmen.

  “Right?!” chimed in the other one. “You just took off without even picking up your drops!”

  That’s when I finally put the pieces together: they were the adventurers we’d saved earlier who’d been surrounded by gargoyles.

  “You have no idea how screwed we’d have been if you hadn’t come along,” said the mage. “Seriously, we’d have been dead meat if it weren’t for you!” The others nodded in agreement.

  “I know you told us to keep the drops, but it just wouldn’t sit right with me to take loot from a guy we owe our lives to. This is yours,” said the rugged man, holding out a small dark-blue gemstone.

  “What? No, I couldn’t! Keep it for yourself, please.”

  “But it’s your drop...”

  The four of them looked extremely nonplussed. It’s true that they were the only group to actually ask us for help, but they were far from the only group whose battle we’d ended prematurely. I would’ve felt really weird about taking their drops while all the other parties got to keep theirs.

  “Let me fill you in on our whole situation before you decide anything,” I said, and went on to explain how we’d been on an inadvertent rampage across the floor, with Sui jumping into anyone and everyone’s fights indiscriminately. “You guys aside, we pretty much stole prey from everyone else on the floor, and I feel sorta bad about it... So anyway, long story short, I decided to give up my claim on any items that drop on this floor.”

  “Hmm,” said the rugged adventurer, “I get the picture now. In that case, we’d be happy to keep this for ourselves.”

  “Perfect! Please do.”

  The other two parties of adventurers in the safe area had been listening in on our conversation and looked visibly relieved the moment he agreed to keep the drop.

  “Umm,” I mumbled awkwardly, turning to them. “Don’t tell me—did you guys...?”

  “Yup,” said a member of one of the parties. “Had our mark snatched right out from under us by that slime.”

  “Same over here,” called out an adventurer in the other party.

  Agggh, I knew it! Sui was going around pew-pewing the heads off every gargoyle it spotted, regardless of whether or not there were adventurers around, so I wasn’t exactly surprised by this new development.

  First things first: I went over to each of the two groups and apologized profusely for our breach of dungeon etiquette. I also took the opportunity to tell them that anything the gargoyles had dropped was theirs. Thankfully, they all turned out to be really understanding. Nobody even chewed me out, in the end.

  “Glad it worked out this time,” said the rugged adventurer once I was finished, “but some folks out there wouldn’t let you get away with a stunt like that half this easy. Best watch yourself from now on.”

  “The warning’s appreciated, but believe me, I’m well aware. I had a nice, long chat about this issue with Sui—that’s my familiar, the slime. We won’t be doing it again.” Sui was sitting right next to me, and I gave it an affectionate pat. 《Hear that? We won’t be doing it again, right?》

  Sui wobbled happily. 《Right! Sui’ll be careful from now on!》

  Nice! Sounds like we’re in good shape. Or at least, I hoped we were.

  《Hey.》

  A telepathic message pulled me out of my thoughts, followed by a sudden weight landing on my shoulder. I turned my head to find Dora-chan sitting on said shoulder, and Fel sitting directly behind me, staring me right in the face.

  《Have you forgotten about our food?》

  《Yeah, I’m seriously about to die of hunger over here!》

  “Right, right, my bad. Wait just a minute, I’ll have it ready in no time.” I quickly pulled out a stockpot and a basket full of bread rolls.

  “Something wrong?” asked the adventurer, noting my rush.

  “Nah, I just promised my familiars I’d make a meal for them, and it looks like they’re out of patience.” The adventurers’ gazes all turned to Fel and Dora-chan, who were still looming over me.

  “Your familiars, eh? That’s a Fenrir, isn’t it?” he asked bluntly.

  “Huh? It’s, uhh...”

  “Knew it.” My noncommittal muttering had had the opposite of its intended effect. “No need to hide it. Word’s been going ’round these parts about an adventurer who keeps a Fenrir as his familiar.”

  “Yeah,” chimed in another of the adventurers. “And there was a rumor floating around a while back that he’d be taking on this very dungeon before too long!”

  “Not to mention that all the rumors talked about how he has a mini-dragon and some sorta weird slime along with the Fenrir. You’re one famous guy,” added a third.

  Oh, wow—word’s spread all the way to the next country over about me? And they even knew about Dora-chan and Sui?! Them figuring out Fel’s identity wasn’t a surprise, though. I’d heard that most of the adventurers who delved into the top twenty floors of this dungeon were around C-rank, and adventurers of that caliber tended to identify him as a Fenrir fairly consistently.

  “So, what’s the Fenrir eat? Gotta be raw meat, right?” asked one of the adventurers. They all leaned forward, keen to hear the details of a legendary beast’s day-to-day diet.

  “Nah, he doesn’t—” I began, only to be cut off by Fel himself.

  “Raw meat? Hardly. Such food is beneath me.”

  “Holy shit, it talked!” cried one of the adventurers.

  “So it’s true—Fenrirs really can speak, just like humans!”

  “Umm, we all eat the same meals, actually,” I explained, trying to take the conversation down to a calmer notch. “We’re having this today.”

  The adventurers watched as I prepared our meal. The stockpot I’d pulled out was full of Bolognese sauce. It was a really versatile dish, so I’d made a ton of it in preparation for our trip. I actually had another full pot of the stuff still tucked away in my Item Box. All I had to do was slice open one of the rolls I’d had specially made at the Rosendahl orphanage like a hot dog bun, scoop a healthy serving of sauce into it, and presto—a Bolognese dog was ready to be served!